Proust Questionnaire

1. What is your idea of perfect happiness?
Being covered in puppies, on the grass, on a sunny day.

2. What is your greatest fear?
Being redundant. Or boring.

3. What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
Selfishness.

4. What is the trait you most deplore in others?
Narrow-mindedness.

5. Which living person do you most admire?
I would say someone like Nelson Mandela, but we all know the answer is David Bowie.

6. What is your greatest extravagance?
Magazines. Masses of them. Because designer shoes are too expensive.

7. What is your current state of mind?
Hopeful.

8. What do you consider the most overrated virtue?
Obedience.

9. On what occasion do you lie?
Very rarely and only to brief acquaintances, and then only to avoid causing pain.

10. What do you most dislike about your appearance?
My broken nose.

11. Which living person do you most despise?
Right now, Sarah Palin. The rest of the time, Ann Coulter.

12. What is the quality you most like in a man?
Humor.

13. What is the quality you most like in a woman?
Humor.

14. Which words or phrases do you most overuse?
I know, right?

15. What or who is the greatest love of your life?
Tie between my husband and theater.

16. When and where were you happiest?
Always when I am directing.

17. Which talent would you most like to have?
To be proficient in ballet.

18. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
To be able to always think before I speak.

19. What do you consider your greatest achievement?
I don't think I've made it yet.

20. If you were to die and come back as a person or a thing, what would it be?
Ooh, I would love to be a housecat.

21. Where would you most like to live?
If not here, then Scotland.

22. What is your most treasured possession?
It's so shallow, but my secondhand Chanel purse. I will probably carry it until it is completely decrepit and misshapen, because I will never be able to afford another one.

I would say my wedding ring, but that feels like a part of me, not a possession.

23. What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?
To lose the ability to sing.

24. What is your favorite occupation?
Directing.

25. What is your most marked characteristic?
Apparently, my gaping maw.

26. What do you most value in your friends?
Silliness.

27. Who are your favorite writers?
Chuck Palahniuk, Edgar Allen Poe, David Sedaris.

28. Who is your hero of fiction?
Rant Casey.

29. Which historical figure do you most identify with?
Buster Keaton.

30. Who are your heroes in real life?
Firemen. Seriously.

31. What are your favorite names?
Delilah, Odin, Iris, Thorn, Domino.

32. What is it that you most dislike?
Fixed outcome.

33. What is your greatest regret?
That I quit dance class.

34. How would you like to die?
As the curtain falls on opening night of the best show I have ever created.

35. What is your motto?
Don't Suck.