C'mon, Y'all, It's A Sabotage

I was doing the dishes this morning when all of a sudden a bunch of weird-looking white spiders crawled out from beneath dishes. One of them apparently made it up my sleeve and bit me on the neck. A few minutes later my neck was hot and throbbing and I had a burning pain all the way down to my shoulder. I decided not to freak out about it and ate a couple bites of my breakfast. But then my face started getting itchy, my ears plugged up and my chest started hurting. So I quickly took a double dose of Benadryl and everything slowed down, even though I'm still really itchy. Everyone keeps asking if I have radioactive spidey powers now.


Also, apparently this happened:

State of Emergency in my county due to sabotage of the cell/internet lines...


Totally screwed over EVERYTHING for miles around, banks, cell phones, 911 calls, long distance dialing, and anything that had to do with internet use.

Good thing I was all loopy on antihistamines for most of the day. I had no time to freak out.