Monday, September 06, 2004

Fancy Underwear and Phone Issues

I hate talking on the phone. I'm really bad at it.

Face to face I'm totally fine with, but as soon as I get on the phone I feel like I have to sum up everything quickly so that I don't waste any time. It makes no logical sense, but it's what happens. Then I end up sitting there, as the silence stretches out on the other end of the line.

But in any case, I hate it. I like getting on the phone, making a few quick points, and then getting off. Because otherwise I feel a terrible pressure to be hilarious and witty and interesting, and you know what? Most of the time I'm really not. I use all the wit up at once during the day and then I'm completely boring the rest of the time.

I don't sleep well when I'm at home. I never have, and I've never known why. It's always one thing or another. So to counter wanting to spend as little time in bed as possible, I stay up far too late KNOWING that I'm going to have to get up earlier than usual in the morning because my family is on a completely different time schedule than I am. Then I'm exhausted all the next day. And the cycle repeats itself.

And I bought expensive bras and underwear on Saturday. Very expensive. I could have just gone to JCPenny or someplace like that, but no, I had to go for the fancy ones with jewels and lace. Probably because I have low self esteem and no confidence in myself. So I make up for it with fancy underwear.

What is wrong in my head? I must have Materialistic Emotional Replacement Syndrome.
I wonder if I could patent that. They could call it Gina-itis.

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