Encounter with an Outpatient

The strangest thing happened to me and my friend Tim today. We were sitting eating chinese food in the University Center when this slightly confused looking Chinese woman wearing a green velvet dress and with a bandaid on her upper lip came up to us and stood there, staring. Tim and I both kindof ignored her for a while, but then all of a sudden she said, "You slammed your hand down and it made the birds fly" to which Tim responded, "I did, didn't I... I must have... the gift". She agreed rather solemnly. Then, after a pause, she burst out, "I was Irish yesterday." Tim looked at her and said, "Uhh, oh really?" "Yes," she replied. Then she looked over at the bracelet Time was wearing, which was covered in pointy metal spikes. She started pressing her hand down on the spikes and saying "Ooh. OW. OWWWW." Tim told her she really couldn't hurt herself on them (they weren't that sharp), even though she was pressing down pretty hard. I just sat there trying not to make eye contact with her. After a while she backed off on the spikes, but then she started clawing at her neck with her nails. It was a bit frightening. "Then," she said, rolling her eyes back in her head, still clawing at her neck, "they caught me and they slit my throat... here. And they took my Irish head away and put this Chinese head on my body, and they dressed me up in this dress, with the slit..." She turned around and posed, showing us the slit that went all the way up the back of her dress. Then she came back over and started fondling Tim's leg, saying, "You see?" We were both getting really uncomfortable by this time, so we didn't really answer her. Then she gasped and pulled back, and said, "There it is! That's my head," pointing right at Tim. I was so afraid she was going to attack him and try to take "her" head back. She turned and looked at me, then saw the plate of Chinese food I was eating and said, "You won't be able to eat all that." "I guess I'll take some home, then," I replied. She shook her head. "You should give me the leftovers, because I only have a check card. Is there an ATM in this building?" "Yeah, upstairs," I answered, hoping she'd go away. She smiled an odd confused smile, then walked over to one of the vendors and started arguing with them about paying for food. Eventually she just took an empty tray and a glass of water and walked off. As she walked away, Tim turned to me and said, "I wonder who lost her?"