Adventures in Craigslist

I sent an email to this person asking when the apartment they posted was available and I got this message in return. Following it is the message I sent back.


Date: Fri, 20 Jun 2008 19:46:31 +0300
From: --
To: --
Subject: Re: Craigslist listing (2br rental)


Hello Dear ,

Thanks for your interested in my apartment.Thanks for your email and
it is my gladness to hearing from you.I am ,the owner of the house you
are making enquiry of.Actually I resided in the house with my
family,such as my wife and my only daugther before and presently we
had packed due to the Hiv/Aids workshop in the (united
state,georgia)presently my house is still available for rent for $900
including the utilities like hydro,washerand security,it is
furnised.Moreso Now, .Pls i want you to note that,i am a kind and
honest man and also i spent alot on my property that i want to give
you for rent,so i will solicit for your absolute mentenance of this
house and want you to treat it as your own,is that taken,it is not the
money the main problem but want you to keep it tidy all the time so
that i will be glad to see it neat when i come for a check up.i do
that once in a while.I also want you to let me have trust in you as i
always stand on my word.

THIS IS THE ADDRESS OF THE APARTMENT 60 W Latimer Ave Campbell, CA 95008
SO IF YOU ARE REALY INTRESTED I WILL WANT YOU TO FILL THE
RENTAPPLICATIONS FORMS BELOW

RENT APPLICATION FORM
Also,Pls let me get this answer.
1)Your Full Name
2)Your Full Address & Phone Number
3)How old are you?
4)Are you married?
5)How many people will be living in the house?
6)Do you have a pet?
7)Do you have a car?
8)Occupation?
9)What is your religion?
10)Are you born again?
Looking forward to hear from you with all this details so that i can
have it in my file incase of issuing the receipt for you and contacting
you.
Await your urgent reply so that we can discuss on how to get the
document and the key to you,please we are giving you all this base on trust
and again i will want you to stick to your words,you know that,we do not
see yet and only putting everything into Gods hand,so please do not
let us down in this our property and God bless you more as you do this.
Thanks and you are welcome


----


Dear Sir,

Thank you very much for your reply email, but I feel there are some things I need to clarify:

Firstly, I have not yet said that I will be able to rent the apartment or that we have entered into any sort of agreement. I merely asked when the apartment would be available, which you have not answered in your email.

Secondly, while it is perfectly reasonable to expect your tenant to refrain from breaking or otherwise damaging the home, as the homeowner or landlord you are responsible for handling routine maintenance and paying for any costs associated with that maintenance. Requiring that the tenant keep the house neat and tidy at all times is not against any law that I know of, but may be an unreasonable expectation.

Lastly, questions 9 and 10 in the "rental application" section of this email are illegal under the Federal Fair Housing Act. Please refer to this link (http://www.craigslist.org/about/FHA.html) for more explanation.

My fiance and I will not be renting the apartment from you for the reasons stated above, but best of luck to you and your family in finding someone.

Shopping, Juicing, and Chatting Up Mormons

I am now, once again, in Southern California. Cj's working on his residency, and I am finding ways to occupy my time, such as:

Accompanying Cj's Mom to nurseries and home improvement stores to buy plants for her terrarium. (she's going to have poison dart frogs!)

Going to the farm stand (they have goats!), buying a 25 pound bag of carrots, and juicing enough to fill a pitcher.

Accompanying Cj's Mom to a Mormon Church Lady dinner outing at Red Robin. One of the women there had just been to Scotland (apparently she's Italian/Scottish, like me), and we talked for about 20 minutes about how we both teared up while at the top of the William Wallace Monument, wishing we didn't have to leave. Then we ordered the same thing, independently from each other. Then I was talking to Cj's Mom about something else and I heard this woman say "Vampire." Wait, what, hold the phone, she likes vampire books and movies too? And wait, she likes Gerard Butler, and watched Phantom of the Opera? So now I have an invitation to go to her house on Monday and watch Moonlight with a couple of other ladies (Cj says it's a trap to get me to convert ;).

Afterwards Cj's Mom and I walked around the mall near their house and went to Hot Topic and Urban Outfitters, where I got a (fairly reasonably priced) cardigan and a $1.99 tank top.

Then I came home and used some of the leftover carrot pulp to make this bread recipe.

I brought a whole bunch of books down with me to read over the course of the trip. I'm starting by re-reading Brave New World by Aldous Huxley, and I'm entirely surprised by how great I still think it is.

Tonys

Patti Lupone in Gypsy: As Good as Ethyl Merman. Yes, I said it.
Cry Baby: Who takes "Stuck in the Prison of Teenage Rage" and turns it into "I'm a Little Upset?"
In The Heights: What "Passing Strange" should have done. AMAZING. Totally deserved Best Musical.
August: Osage County: Knew it was going to win.
Mandy Patinkin reading Stephen Sondheim's Speech: Adorable.
Sunday In the Park With George: My favorite Sondheim musical, done in a really cool way.
Best Revival of A Musical, etc.: I don't even really like South Pacific.

And Oh God, Xanadu.

Funny Latin Phrases

Not speaking Latin, I'm sure a bunch of these are wrong, but still funny.

Amicule, deliciae, num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
- Baby, sweetheart, would I lie to you?

Abutebaris modo subjunctivo denuo
- You've been misusing the subjunctive again

Aio, quantitas magna frumentorum est
- Yes, that is a very large amount of corn

Animadvertistine, ubicumque stes, fumum recta in faciem ferri?
- (At a barbeque)
Ever noticed how wherever you stand, the smoke goes right into your face?

Antiquis temporibus, nati tibi similes in rupibus ventosissimis exponebantur ad necem
- In the good old days, children like you were left to perish on windswept crags

Appareo Decet Nihil Munditia?
- Is It Not Nifty?

Dun dun da dunn...

The wedding machine is in full swing now. Invitations are being addressed (and I will admit, I am being lazy and saving money by using pre-printed labels. Hey, Martha Stewart says it's ok!), hurricane lanterns are being decorated, favors are in the process of being made, and I've started contemplating a seating chart.

My dress has still not come in yet which is making me really nervous, as over the last few months I've started to hear bad rumors about the bridal salon where I got it. I need to at least go pick up my veil so I can have a pre-wedding hair appointment and figure out what the heck I'm doing with my hair.

I'm actually really excited about sending these invitations out... it makes it seem more real. But I guess it won't really seem imminent until I get in that dress with my hair done...

It's Aliiiiive!

I dyed my hair what I thought was a dark brown (my natural color). It turned out black.

It's a lot more emo looking than I thought it would be.

I'm considering a bride-of frankenstein blonde streak in the front.


Pictures forthcoming in the daylight.

Blogger decided to add an element that makes my page look hideous, so I'm gonna have to do some shifting around to make it work. Psh. Oh well, it'll look ugly for a bit.

Stuuuupid Gina.

One day.

One day, and I am all antsy about the next show. Wherever that might be.

What is WRONG with me? Can't I just relax for two seconds?

... and then my elation is deflated by the fact that I am now called for JURY DUTY at the end of this month.

Fantastic.

Show's Over, Folks

Free at last, free at last.



Except for the post mortem this thursday.


But woo!